For a minute I went into a panic. As carefully as I had packed for a two week trip, I found that I have looked everywhere and can’t find my medicine. I almost forgot – it’s not the medicine that’s keeping me alive  – it’s my Father. I take medicine in obedience to the script given to me by the doctor, who the Father uses to help me through the infirmities in this life; but when the deal goes down – I don’t need to panic – God has this:

"But you, Israel, are my servant.
You’re Jacob, my first choice,
descendants of my good friend Abraham.
I pulled you in from all over the world,
called you in from every dark corner of the earth,
Telling you, ‘You’re my servant, serving on my side.
I’ve picked you. I haven’t dropped you.’
Don’t panic. I’m with you.
There’s no need to fear for I’m your God.
I’ll give you strength. I’ll help you.
I’ll hold you steady, keep a firm grip on you. Isaiah 41:10 (The Message)

In fact God has all of my calamities! He has all of my challenges, my issues, my failures- each one, one by one as I give them to Him, He carefully works them together for my good. What love! 

I am not proud of this but I can remember so many times as a parent holding my children hostage for mistakes they made; threatening them with all kinds of terrible things that would happen to them if they didn’t get it right. It was only after they were grown that I saw things from a God perspective.  It was only after I didn’t have them to fuss at, that I realized how fussing at myself for the mistakes of this life was fruitless. I couldn’t fix them any more than I could fix my children’s. Only the grace of God, only the favor of God, only the mercy of God could come behind the mess that I often created and turn that mess into a message – once again showering me unexpected blessings and love.

I have apologized to my children – and I hope that they really have received the heartfelt sorrow I have for being both inpatient and short-sighted. I guess that’s the thing that I’ve learned the most about God. He sees the end from the beginning. He knows who we will be and can WAIT for our change to come. I wish I had that vision as a parent with growing children – I’m glad I do now – because just like me needing mercy from my Father with my failures – my grown children need me to still see they are still in process of becoming.

Maria