I would love to have the testimony that every day with Jesus has been sweeter than the day before. Yet, sadly that would not be true. There have been days when I have held everything from contempt to jealousy in my heart. At times it tried to overtake the Spirit of the Lord in me; my thoughts and attitudes would become carnal – I was becoming a wretch undone, much like before I received the Lord.
One of the reasons that I fell in love with the Word of God is because it is a book about real people and their interaction with the God of the Universe. They were not perfect, and sometimes were so "off" that you could even describe them as a failure. Through the pages of this Book, and through the lives of those in the Book, there is a constant message that comes forth however – God loves us, He wants to have fellowship with us, and no matter how bad we’ve been, or how much we’ve failed, we can return to Him and He will return to us.
The Psalmist was quite open about his feelings, whether he was having a good day or a bad:
You see, my heart overflowed with bitterness and cynicism
I felt as if someone stabbed me in the back.
22 But I didn’t know the truth
I have been acting like a stupid animal toward You.
23 But look at this: You are still holding my right hand;
You have been all along.
24 Even though I was angry and hard-hearted, You gave me good advice;
when it’s all over, You will receive me into Your glory.
25 For all my wanting, I don’t have anyone but You in heaven.
There is nothing on earth that I desire other than You.
26 I admit how broken I am in body and spirit,
but God is my strength, and He will be mine forever.
27 It will happen: whoever shuns You will be silenced forever;
You will bring an end to all who refuse to be true to You.
28 But the closer I am to You, my God, the better because life with You is good.
O Lord, the Eternal, You keep me safe—
I will tell everyone what You have done. Psalm 73: 21 -28 (The Voice)
In this Psalm we see a myriad of emotions taking place, from bitter to stupid, from angry to broken. In the midst of all of this pent up emotion, the Father was still there, waiting to usher this vagabond into his rightful place. The Father did not force him to recognize that he was lost, "life" forced him to a place of need. The blessing came because the Psalmist realized that as he rejected his feelings, repented of them, and pressed into the Father, that his life would get better, that he could be healed and delivered of his sins. What was the conclusion: when God has done such great things for you, you can’t keep it to yourself, you have to tell somebody!